Hey dears,
Hope you’re well. Once in a while I let the guilt of not being present anywhere on the internet become tangible and then I update my socials and my website. But jeez, I have no idea what I’m doing regarding website building or growing follower content or wateva. It all seems so inconsequential when I think about all the other things I should focus on, or the state of the world, or the destruction of our environment, histories, civil liberties, privacy rights, etc etc etc. But here I am. With an update!
I’ve moved to San Francisco, I’ve relinquished my beloved shared studio space at the Bunker and I miss them dearly. I’ve taken a break from painting and instead have focused on sculptures and what my friends call “house art” aka taking care of backstocked projects. Cabinets have been stained, pictures have been framed, clothes have been mended and made. As have good meals and long walks. And I have no photos of any of it, nor do I care to.
When I was younger, I thought that the art world was this incredible, high-class, sanctuary of new ideas and the joining of minds. I no longer think that of the world as a whole, instead I’ve realized those dreams are closer to the home-grown crust community I always wanted. The art market is a beast I am indifferent to. I do not want to make “art” just to sell it. That’s not art, that’s production. And my art practice is something deeper that requires enough respect to not be financially motivated.
Essentially this is a long winded way of saying I’ve been relearning my practice and approach to art-making while also working in unrelated fields to pay rent. Since I graduated, my worldview has shifted immensely which has been both a blessing and a pain. I expect the rest of my 20’s to be blunders, surprises, and a lot of learning from my mistakes. I haven’t stopped making art, I’ve been reconsidering what I want to share. Not everything needs to be viewed. Not all art is meant for the white cube.
Is this cynical? Maybe. I don’t have the words for how I’m feeling right now, but I’m sure someone does. Maybe you, dear reader. Lmk.
Anyways, I am in the process of making things that excite me and keep me awake at night. My paintings are still for sale. I’m exploring other mediums such as soft sculpture, comics, and writing. Whatever lives deep inside of me that prompts me to expunge such matter is constantly changing, and I no longer want to have my practice fueled by grief and sadness, dependent as my source of income. The pressure is not needed, and one should be multifaceted in our in-between era. Not everything should be reactionary. I want to sit and think more to convey the layers behind situations. Onions…onions onions onions.
Thanks for the patience. More to come probably.
xø
z.
